The word "disaster" springs to mind

I was going to post this on my blog at the dylanpool, but it seems to be down, so it goes here.

Live Aid 2 is going to suck ass. This isn't a unique thought, no doubt, but the one thing that always drives me nuts about these things are the inevitable duets. The MTV awards are notorious for this, (Jimmy Page coming out and playing with Fred Durst appalled me to no end), but I keep hearing rumours that at the London show especially, there's going to be some wacky duets. Obviously the big one is Macca and U2, in full Sgt.Pepper regalia, singing Sgt.Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, because the first Live Aid "was 20 years ago today", you know. (I bet that was Geldof's idea.) That is so far beyond sacrilege that I hope John and/or George rises from the dead and kicks Paulie square in the balls. I'd let it slide if they surprise everyone by having Ringo come out and sing "with a little help from my friends", but I doubt Paulie and Jesus H. Bono would allow themselves to be upstaged like that.

The other one I just heard today was that Coldplay will duet with Mad King Richard on Bittersweet Symphony. Please...for the love of god...no. If Dickie A is going to be there, someone call up Nick McCabe, Simon Tong, and (sigh) Simon Jones (you filthy traitor, you.) and reunite the Verve for one night. If Pink Floyd can do it, why not you? Frankly, letting Chris Martin sing on that song might actually bother me more than seeing Bono Fucking Christ in John's Pepper gear. It's just wrong. Please, Richard...think of the children.

And no doubt Lord Knob of Geldof will make an appearance somewhere. Listen, you goddamn one-hit wonder, we already have ONE Irish singer with a Jesus complex (well, two if you count Sinead, but she's just nuts)...we don't need another one...especially one with no discernible talent. Go the fuck away.

I'll end this little rant with the requisite oasis content...Noel, over to you:

"I don't like the way that somebody suddenly decides that all the bands in England are going to f***kin' play and everybody jumps to attention."

and

"KEANE doing SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW and some Japanese businessman going, 'Aw, look at him... we should really f**king drop that debt, you know.'

"It's not going to happen, is it?"

Amen, Chief.